The fangirl life.

Thinking about it, my life consisted pretty much of actresses and idols. Starting from Fann in 2007 to Jeanette in 2009 to Mayuko in 2011 to Japanese Idol Groups in 2013.

Which brings it to a total of 7 years of living the fangirl life. Ever since I was 10.

This thought has been lingering in my mind for ages now - just couldn't put it in words. Until today.

I realised, today, why I put so much devotion into them idols/celebs. They push me further, bringing new challenges into my life to spur me on, and give me energy.

Let's see.. I don't have much recollection of that period where I liked Fann, just memories of me being really obsessed with her. So I'll skip that period and jump over to the Jeanette 'era'.

With Jeanette, other than the obvious statement of her bringing smiles to me, she gave me a couple of challenges which I took years to complete. Nothing too complex, really. Jeanette made me really interested in acting and the entertainment industry. Which in turn pushed me further when I was in Sec 1 and had drama exams in place of English exams. Because of Jeanette, I got to realise the meaning behind acting, and did my best, although it still sucked.

Also, seeing how Jeanette excelled in dancing made me interested in dancing once again as well. I took up ballet at the age of 6 and quit at 10. The thought of rejoining ballet classes has been in my mind ever since I started to like Jeanette, but schoolwork has always been the obstacle and I never rejoined any ballet classes, sadly.

Of course, there's the really simple challenge of striving to meet Jeanette, getting her autograph, scoring a photo with her and such. It might sound simple, but I had to go through a lot to achieve those. I had no chance to attend events at that time, since I was too young (I was 12). My first time meeting Jeanette live was when I was 13, during National Day where she performed at Sengkang. I'll never forget that moment.

Following that, it was a rather quiet year since I wasn't allowed to join Jeanius due to my parents restricting me. Only when I did well in my Sec 2 end of year exams did my mum allow me to join Jeanius, and in that very same year, I attended their gathering and took a photo with her.

The next year, I finally had a chance to get her autograph. Not those pre-signed photos they give out to fans, but seeing Jeanette sign your item with your own eyes. Jeanette released her very first book, and had a autograph session on a Saturday. I had to persuade my mum really seriously in order to attend it, since I have tuitions on Saturday.. it involved lots of tears. But it was worth it. In 2012, I have officially completed the challenge of meeting Jeanette, getting her autograph, and having a photo with her. Something I have been working towards since 2009.

Then came Mayuko in 2011. Fukuda Mayuko, a girl who was about to change my life drastically.. All I did was watch 10 Promises to my Dog and I found out this gem. This girl named Mayuko who actually sparked my interest in Japan, Japan's culture and Japanese. Because of her, I became a little interested in Japanese (y'know, those kind of interests where you wanna learn something new but you aren't really passionate about it that it can actually die off if you don't pursue it).

Because of her, I went on to pursue Japanese. I'm glad I did, because I'm very happy with my current life. I struggled really badly with memorising the basic characters, hiragana and katakana. And I did that before I joined Japanese classes, so it was a real struggle since I relied on online sites. Then I joined Japanese classes in 2012 and things became smoother after getting over the first main hurdle, hiragana and katakana.

And why did Mayuko change my life drastically? Well.

Because of my interest in Japanese and their culture/entertainment industry in 2011, (which eventually led to it being my passion now), I started keeping an eye on all things Japanese. And AKB48 caught my eye.

I will skip the entire history of how I became a fan of AKB since I'm pretty sure I wrote a blog post on that. Ever since I became a fan, once again, many challenges were found. It pretty much spurred me on and I felt 'alive' again.

Because of AKB, I started to have an interest in singing and dancing. More dancing than singing though, due to my history with ballet and my interest in dance thanks to Jeanette. Because of that, I started self-learning their songs' choreography but I sucked really badly at it. But I won't give up. One day, I will get to a decent level of dancing their songs. Not perfect, but decent enough to not burn people's eyes. Which is why I'm currently attending kpop dance classes (because it's the only one I'm okay with other than hiphop and contemporary). But really, kpop has really complex dance moves as compared to idol groups in Japan where I feel they appeal more with their aura. Their dance moves are really simple, but their aura makes their performances magical. Back to the point, if I can master complex kpop dance moves, I'm pretty sure idol groups' choreo will be a lot simpler.

Singing wise, it's just a mere interest where I will just sing along to their songs or the instrumental versions of their songs.

Once again, I had to face the challenge of meeting them/etc. And it will be difficult due to them being in Japan. But I won't give up. As I haven't had the opportunity to complete any challenge yet, I can't do any writing on it. So I'll just list them down, in no particular order, with a brief description.

1. Attending a HS event (handshake event). An event where you get to shake hands with your favourite members, and have the opportunity to talk to them. 1 ticket gives you only about 7 seconds with a member though. On a brighter note, this challenge might be completed if nothing goes wrong, since I have won 26 HS tickets for December!

2. Meeting my top 5 in AKB and top 3 in HKT. That'd be Mayu, Mion, Yukirin, Naachan and Saya for AKB, and Hazuki, Sakura and Meru for HKT. Currently have HS tickets for Mayu and Naachan only, so it'll still be a long way to go till this is completed.

3. Attending a shamekai (2shot) event. An event where a ticket allows you to have a photo with your chosen member. This was supposed to be completed in June, but due to that incident in May which resulted in all events postponed temporarily, it hasn't been met yet. However I'll be going for their makeup session in December and I hope everything will go right.

4. A photo with my top 5 in AKB and top 3 in HKT. I currently have shamekai tickets for only Mayu and Naachan, so still a long way too.

5. Autographs. Really, any member's aurograph will do. Preferably from my favourites, but I won't fix it on a certain member.

6. Attend a concert. Still seems like a faraway dream to me. Hoping it'll come true one day.

7. Attend a theater show. An even more unattainable dream. Background info, the 48 groups (AKB/SKE/NMB/HKT) performs almost daily at their very own theater but application rate is so high (especially for AKB, where application rate is 100x their seating capacity of 200+) it'd be a miracle if you get selected to attend.

8. Meet some Japanese fans and become friends with them. That'd be my dream come true. Sadly, I have no idea how to go about it. This challenge might very well go uncompleted.

That pretty sums it up for things relating to AKB, if my memory doesn't fail me. I have some other things to work towards relating to Japanese language though.

1. Achieve JLPT N1 ASAP. I'd set an age limit of achieving it before I'm 20, but seeing how I can only take N4 exams when I'm 18, well.. let's just change to to ASAP.

2. Succesfully read a Japanese book. I've bought two books and currently on page 25 of one book.

3. Stay in Japan for an extended period of time. Not as a tourist, but as a local. No hotels, but rather in rented apartments. Not visiting tourist attractions for most of the trip, but rather living life like how the locals do. I'm looking at somewhere between 1 month to 3 months. Of course, if I ever went on exchange programs to Japan lasting more than 3 months, I'll be more than glad to do so.

Oh, while pondering over what to write, I realised one of my personal challenge was completed. To make friends with Japanese people! I hosted a group of 5 high school girls the other day, and you could say we are more or less acquaintances/friends.

And I guess that's all I can think about. Bye!