idols

Late night ramblings starts again.

Idols. Wonderful people chasing their dreams that really gives me energy and an optimistic outlook on life.

Being an idol fan however, is really stressful.

Recently I've gotten to like an idol group, Iketeru Hearts thanks to AFA. But it's really stressful for me.

Prior to them I've already fallen so deep in Mayuworld. It's not like I can drop Mayu that easily for a new group I've just met y'know? (And it's not like I'll ever drop Mayu lol. I won't) But because of that..

So this happened today. Or rather yesterday since it's past midnight already. I went to ask Yuno what she thinks of me, expecting some fisher-like kind of reply but instead of that.. I got this:

Q.ね〜私のことどう思う？💕💕 A.まゆゆが大好きなのー💕？？ わたしもまゆゆ大好きだよー💕！！

— イケてるハーツ☆由良乃ゆの (@yunofuwa) December 15, 2015

"You love Mayuー💕？？ I love Mayu tooー💕！！"

THIS WAS SO EMBARRASING OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAH.

I have no idea whether to be happy that she replied me & mentioned Mayu, or to be sad that she mentioned Mayu.

She probably stalked my profile. Or maybe she doesn't even need to, my profile picture is of Mayu. But either way, yes I appear as a Mayu fan to strangers with such a profile.

But I really do not want Mayu and Iketeru to mix. One is such a well-known figure in Japan and maybe even internationally, and the other is just a rather new idol group with zero original songs that covers other groups' songs for performances and has yet to debut (but they'll soon debut in Feb 2016!). I don't wish to give off the impression that I'm comparing them, neither do I want them to compare themselves to Mayu.

I don't want to be seen by Iketeru fans as a random Mayu oshi going on the post-AFA hype train either, and merely liking them on the surface just because they would respond to you and like your tweets. I truly support them and I want them to succeed. I want them to fulfill their dreams.

But I can't drop Mayu. Mayu has impacted me very hugely that I can't drop her just like that. She's more than just an idol to me; she's my inspiration, my motivation. Her determination in doing things touches me. She doesn't waver easily to society's expectations. She's serious at work, but she also knows how to let loose and go wild at the right times as well. That's what I love about her. I don't just love Mayu as a mere idol, I admire her as a person.

Sucks that I happen to like this very well-known figure as well as an underground idol group huh.

I really hope Iketeru members understand this though. Maybe the post-AFA hype hasn't died down, and those simply on the hype train are still rather hyped up, but honestly time will tell eventually. Who are the real fans and who are just there just for the interaction. Heck, I like Nijika and I tweet to her regularly but she rarely likes my tweets, but that doesn't stop me from replying to her. Neither does she respond much to fans. She doesn't do fishing-like actions too. Pretty sure that shows how much I support them lol.

Mayu has been my number one idol before I met Iketeru, and she still is. I can't, and I won't drop her for a fresher group. I support Iketeru, but honestly speaking, they come after Mayu. But that doesn't mean I support them any less.

Also sucks that I've yet to find an oshi. I'm simply responding to random members based on my mood and/or their tweet content. But I just can't settle on an oshi.. Neither can I decide on an oshi, because "your oshi chooses you, not the other way round".

But so far these 4 members have caught my attention and I like them more than the rest.

Nijika: For being cute LOL. No but seriously she's really cute. HAHAHA Not just that, I like her performance a lot; my eyes just can't help but look at her during performances because it's just so energetic and like I've said before, I don't single out a performance and label them as "good" because all performances are good to me, so when someone's performance catches my eye it's really good (at least to me) lol.

Riichan: For fishing me and bringing me into Iketeru. Without her approaching me I wouldn't be in this fandom. And she's really cheerful, she keeps smiling and waving to me enthusiastically whenever she sees me.

Manami: For being touched till the extent of crying when my friend gave her a handmade keychain. It's not directed to me, but it's still touching to see an idol getting so touched over a gift someone made for her.. And she's cute. HAHAHA

Yuno: For being such a good fisher LOL. She didn't really impact me much during AFA, but idk if it's because of my friends' influence, but she's starting to grow on me as time passes. Her tweets are so baiting though.

I like the rest as well, Karin, Yuyu, Kotone and Madorin. But.. they just didn't impact me enough..

I had almost zero interaction with Kotone and Madorin during AFA so there's that, and there's really not much that makes me grow to like them.. yet. I don't dislike them, it's just that we have very little interaction be it in real life or on twitter, and I don't know them the most in the group.

I have had interaction with Yuyu, and her ability to speak English + Chinese is a plus, but maybe it's just a personal preference thing where I don't really fangirl over members that act as the face of the group or as the leader. More than liking them in the fangirl way, I respect them. Like how I admire and respect TKMN, and I do like TKMN but just not in the fangirl way. (TKMN ranks low in my oshi list but I enjoy her presence and her actions)

And for Karin.. well she kabedonned me and her 見つめ合い pose was a killer but.. it's just that.. I guess. I don't know but I just don't feel any "indescribable connection" with her like I do for other members.. Mayu, Mion, and all my oshis are my oshis because of that "indescribable connection" I had with them so..

But if I were to rank it'll be something like this.

Nijika = Riichan = Manami = Yuno > Karin > Yuyu > Kotone = Madorin.

BUT I LIKE ALL OF THEM.

Just some members more than the rest.

And oh god this blog post has dragged so much. But yeah basically I just can't and I won't drop Mayu and I hope I don't get seen as "a fake fan who's only there for responses from idols".